I was at a work event in November where we were all asked to imagine that 2020 was a book and give it a title. I was stumped. The year had been such a whirlwind of horror that I literally couldn’t form a response. Everyone else shared what they were grateful for – healthy families untouched by COVID, their children, Zoom. I choked something out and then wept for hours (and through the night) after the call ended. Something about having to NAME 2020 helped me finally grieve and face what a painful year it was.
Some people wail and scream when rocked by loss…but when I’m really sad, my throat closes and it is virtually impossible to speak.
2020 knocked me speechless. In March, we lost my hilarious uncle Eric – I’m named after him. Seemed fine and then…short of breath, spitting up blood, and GONE. Covid.
Later that month, I was furloughed from a job I loved. Because of Covid, they said. Woke up excited to close a big deal and ended the day, job GONE.
Next we lost my grandfather, the patriarch of our family. He lived a long life of excellence, service, and intellectual rigor. His caregiver thought COVID was a hoax. They both got sick. Gramps didn’t make it…Started the month healthy and then…GONE.
That said, some changes in 2020 were blessings – doors closed but better ones opened. I vaulted over obstacles and was reminded when I landed safely on the other side that I’d prepared well for these worst case scenarios and rainy days.
I lost a job but found a better one at a much better company. I never would have been looking if not for COVID. I ended a marriage but find myself in a better relationship with a much better partner. I distanced myself from some but grew closer to better friends and established much better connections built on stronger foundations.
2020 tested me. It tested us all. But we are still here, still standing, still moving forward. The tightness in my throat is easing, my voice is coming back just in time to say emphatically “Happy New Year.” Like you, I’m hoping that 2021 allows us to move past our grief and start over stronger and more compassionate than ever before.
What title would you give to the book of 2020?
For fun here are a few that came to me (once I stopped crying, lol):
The Test
Love in a time of COVID
When things fall apart
The Change
Up the down staircase
Are we there yet?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Freelennial 