The last couple of months have been brutal. I’m usually an almost annoyingly positive and optimistic person, but the events of the past few months have made it difficult to get out of bed and smile on many recent days. I am an American. I am a black American. My heart breaks each time I see another video of an unarmed black person (or any person) murdered. The recent killings of Ahmad Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks, and others added to a global pandemic and an unexpected work furlough have all combined to leave me breathless with melancholy. I have felt powerless and a bit hopeless in the face of all of the things that are going wrong in the world lately.
I’ve witnessed racist and sexist previous employers post platitutes about equality and Juneteenth, but have been hesitant to call them out publically on their hypocrisy (you are giving Juneteenth as a company holiday but don’t have ANY black employees and actively mistreated the ones that you did have? Niiiice) for fear of losing out on other professional opportunities or burning bridges…but then I remembered – I’m financially FREE. I can speak out now about the injustices that I see without as much fear of reprisal because I don’t NEED my W2 income to survive and pay my bills. This is why financial freedom is so important in the struggle for equality and liberation of black people. For years, in order to succeed, we’ve had to quietly accept mistreatment, hypocrisy, and even violence in order to survive…but those days are past. I’m going to speak my truth and be honest about how much my community is hurting right now. For the first time in my life, I can AFFORD to be honest. That is freedom.
“I wish I could say that racism and prejudice were only distant memories. We must dissent from the indifference. We must dissent from the apathy. We must dissent from the fear, the hatred, and the mistrust…We must dissent because America can do better, because America has no choice but to do better.”
Thurgood Marshall
One thing that I feel compelled to do is share the impact of racism on me personally. I’ve had several “well-meaning” conservative colleagues and former classmates (often devout Christians) suggest that systemic racision is a myth and that black Americans should focus on keeping fathers in the home, black on black crime, education, and crime reduction. I don’t know how to make people who aren’t impacted by experiences like mine understand that they are real. I don’t know how any sentient, intelligent being can live in this country and not realize the pervasive, destructive, and systemic existence of racism.
I have a father and a mother, I went to college, I’ve never been to prison or committed a crime – but as a black woman I’ve experienced racism on an almost daily basis. My two parent family structure, my ivy league education, my “articulate” speech, my hard work, my neat mode of dress – NONE of this has protected me from racism because it is baked into almost every interaction I have. It has nothing to do with anything that I can control…I’ve had to accept that in order to exist peacefully in this land that I love and call home.
I could share countless examples: being unable to get a loan with an 800+ credit score and six figure income, being rejected from apartments once the landlord meets me in person (despite having approved me on paper), being followed in stores, being accused of stealing in a store, being accused of cheating at school, being called names, phyiscally assaulted, verbally abused, left out, disregarded, low-balled on salary, pulled over for no reason, refused a hotel room that I’d reserved in advance, given average performance reviews despite data showing an above-average job performance. I could go on and on and on…but that isn’t productive and likely won’t do anything to change the minds and hearts of those who deny these experiences happen in America.
Having two parents doesn’t exempt me from racism, nor does being educated, pretty (I’d like to think), or polite – that is why we say it is systemic. I read once that “systemic racism doesn’t mean that everyone is racist, it means that the system operates in a racist manner that impacts us all.” Don’t try to shift the focus to broken families and crime without first fixing the broken, racist system that created those issues. I don’t know how to bridge the growing the divide between the people suffering and those denying that anything is wrong. All I can do is tell my story, speak my truth, and lead as many of you to freedom as possible.
Freelennial 