We all have a money story and understanding yours is crucial to building a strong and prosperous financial future. Some of your financial habits are innate (I’ve been a saver since day 1) but many are learned. The more you understand what shaped your views on money, the better you’ll be able to structure your future choices in a way that is both sustainable and profitable.
My money story begins in a relatively frugal middle class family in Minneapolis. my parents are African-Americans who migrated to the far north for better job opportunities. They met in college and had middle-management corporate jobs. Ironically, for a good portion of my growing years they were both managers at the same company, just in different departments. Dad was in compliance, mom in HR. We lived modestly – no big houses or flashy cars. My mom cooked dinner every night and she and I cleaned the house every other weekend. We didn’t have everything, but I never wanted for anything. Despite the local public school being across the street, they paid for my brother and I to go to parochial school. Both being products of catholic education – they believed strongly in investing in their children.
I’ve been a saver and money accumulator for as long as I can remember. My only brother is 10 years older than me and it has been a running family joke that he first borrowed money from me when I was 6 and he was 16. I’ve just ALWAYS stacked cash. My parents would give me a small allowance and I would double it hustling neighborhood kids who knew how to count but didn’t understand the value of money – “I’ll give you FOUR pennies for TWO quarters” hopefully that won’t put me in hell, lol. Looking back, I reflect on the money values instilled in me:
– saving is good
– investing in education is important
– family time is priceless
– no need for flash
My parents always chose a life that felt good over one that looked good – driving Toyotas and minivans when their friends were pushing Mercedes and living modestly in the city when everyone else aspired to a McMansion in the suburbs. I also learned from my mom how to shop sales and stretch a dollar. She prides herself on never paying full price for anything. I’m not great at math but can calculate percentages in my head like a human calculator due to her drill sergeant like methods in the grocery store (what’s our total if this is 15% off of $8.99 and I have a coupon for another 10% off?)
The only negative experiences I can recall with money were around a stigma related to being either “rich” or “poor” – where I grew up most folks were in the middle and anything else was undesirable. I recall kids saying I was rich and being deeply embarrassed by that. We were NOT rich, but lived in a world where most black people didn’t have much, so by the time my family was living in a two bedroom condo downtown that had a courtyard with a pool, other kids assumed we were doing big things. Looking back, though, it was a modest life. A family of 3 (4 when my big brother was in town) living in a 1,000 sqft 2bd/2ba. We went down 20 flights to the basement to do laundry…it really wasn’t that fancy, but it was in the heart of downtown Minneapolis and gave me a ton of freedom because I was able to walk to anything and everything I needed – groceries, restaurants, library, shops, church, and even the movies.
I’m blessed to have started life with a healthy relationship with money and I’m eternally grateful for the financial seeds my parents planted.
Key questions to ask yourself as you start on this journey to freedom:
What is your financial story?
What are some of your earliest money memories?
Are you a natural saver or a spender?
Did your family/community have a healthy or warped relationship with money?
Consider what comes naturally to you and what was taught. Consider the elements you are missing and what you’d like to cultivate…once you have a solid grasp on your money history, you’ll be ready to begin mapping out your money future.
Freelennial 